Opinion | Use honesty to avoid a bad breakup

Initiating a breakup might be one of the most awkward and difficult things you’ll ever have to do, especially in high school. No matter how you go about it, it probably won’t go down as smoothly as you hope, but knowing some proper breakup etiquette could help prevent the situation from becoming your worst nightmare.

Whether you are not seeing eye-to-eye, growing apart, or just not feeling a connection anymore, there are a lot of adequate reasons to end a relationship.

First, for the obvious reasons. If you feel that there is any from of abuse in your relationship, you should end it immediately. You should feel secure in a relationship, and if you are insecure about your significant other’s faithfulness to you, it might be best if you don’t continue to be with them.

Sometimes, two people are looking to get different things out of a relationship. If you and your partner have different goals regarding the terms of your relationship, it might be time to end things. If, for any reason, a relationship feels wrong, or is no longer working for you, even if it’s due to a simple loss of interest, that’s how you know it’s time to break up.

Breakups are typically pretty painful for both parties, but there are some things to keep in mind that could help a breakup go as smoothly as possible. When breaking up with someone, you should always be honest and direct. Tell the truth as to why the relationship is not working for you, or things could become messy. Most likely, the person you’re breaking up with is not going to be calm and collected, so it is best to prepare yourself for any reaction they may have, and know how to respond.

Conversely, there are some things to avoid when breaking up that could potentially spark an argument and make things even worse than they already are. Under no circumstances should you be rude to the person you are breaking up with; the idea is not to intentionally hurt them. Don’t be a coward. You should never lie about why you decided to initiate a breakup, even if you think it might be hurtful. Don’t use an inappropriate method of communication. Never let your partner find out from someone else that you are planning to end things. They should hear it from you first. In certain situations, breaking up with someone via text or call makes sense, but it is likely that you owe it to your partner to sit down with them and end things face-to-face.

On the other hand, if you are being broken up with, you should handle yourself respectfully and responsibly. Don’t try to make your partner feel bad over their decision. Never threaten to harm yourself as a method of guilt tripping them. Try to be empathetic and understanding of their feelings.

After a breakup, try to find someone you can vent to. Talk to someone who you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with, and who might be able to offer some advice.

Whether you are the person being broken up with, or the one doing the breaking, it is always okay to be upset.

— Kendyl Bolinder, @Bolinderkendyl

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